A Tough Decision

“Archana! Wait!” I call out, trying to keep my voice steady as I hurry up to her and the other woman. Both Archana and the woman turn to face me, their attention drawn by the urgency in my voice.

“Kesav !! What are you doing? Wait here !!” Archana hisses looking around awkwardly at the other girls who were throwing her dirty glances for being called up ahead of them despite having just arrived. Though she didn’t quite look it, she was also quite older and dressed very modestly compared to them. I might be biased, but if you ask me those heavily makeup-laden girls didn’t hold a candle next to my naturally beautiful wife. 

“Umm, is he with you?” the lady asks Archana.

“Yes Mam. This is my husband Kesav.” 

“Oh Hi, Sir !!…… I am Rosita.“ She says with a warm smile offering her hand for a handshake. “Would you like to come inside as well??”

“Oh! May I ?”

“Of course! We have comfortable seating inside where you can observe the proceedings.”

“Oh, in that case, I think I’ll come along,” I say, casting a tentative gaze towards Archana. She nods eagerly, encouraging me to join.

‘What the hell am I doing?’ I wonder as I silently follow them into an expansive classroom-like space. My senses were screaming at me to stop her somehow. But how do I do it without creating a scene? Archana is sure to argue back if I try to stop her without any explanation. And explaining it is an awkward conversation I didn’t want to get into with all these people around. 

I quickly scan the room as soon as we get inside. There were just 3 other people inside besides Archana, Rosita, and myself. I immediately recognize one of them as the legendary director Mr. Raghavendra Rao himself – a charismatic elderly man with a bald head, white beard, and an obese body. 

Raghavendra Rao was a director who made a name for himself through his unique style of portraying the beauty of his heroines on screen – which usually consisted of an overabundance of scenes that gives a lot of attention to their midriff area of the actresses, especially their navels. By now it was no secret that the man was a crazy navel fetishist. Having navel scenes in the movie was kind of his signature. Such scenes were expected of his movies now by fans and actors alike. Those girls that were waiting for their turn outside for their audition certainly knew this fact. That was why all of them were wearing some sort of belly-showing costume because they know that their chances of getting selected for a Raghavendra Rao movie might be dependent on the glamor of their bellies.

For navel-fetish guys like myself, the man was a legend. Growing up the scenes in his movies and songs were often the subject of my daydreams. But Archana, who wasn’t familiar with Telugu movies, had no idea who he was or what would be expected of her if she were to be selected. She would never have come within a 10-mile radius of this place if she did. 

He was intently watching something on his laptop when we came in. Beside him was a skinny guy with shoulder-length hair and a goatee. Judging by his appearance and the professional-looking video camera he is holding I figured he is some sort of camera person -probably there to record the proceedings of this audition. He was also looking over Raghav sir’s shoulder and watching whatever Raghav sir was watching. They both look up and greet us when they hear us come in. 

But the guy that caught my attention most was neither of these two – but the third one who was lounged out in an easy chair a few feet behind them like he was enjoying his own private sunbath. Unlike the other two, he didn’t bother to look up or acknowledge our presence when we came in. For all, we knew he could be sleeping. If it wasn’t for his toes which kept rhythmically tapping each other, I would have assumed him to be asleep. But the reason he caught my attention was none of these but his appearance. Even sitting it was obvious he was quite a tall guy. Dark-skinned, lean, and muscular – he was surely a model or an actor. He was wearing stylish ripped blue jeans and a white shirt which he kept fully unbuttoned on the front, showing off his chiseled torso which was smooth, waxed, and rippling with muscles. Just looking at him was setting my insecurities and inferiority complex on fire. 

“Please be seated, Sir. ” says Rosita’s voice startling me. I look in the direction she was pointing and notice that the walls were lined with plastic chairs. I nod and scurry to sit on one against the sidewall which I assumed will give me the best view of the proceedings. 

Rosita starts to make introductions on behalf of everybody. I learn that the cameraman was called Vamsi and the big dude sitting behind them who was yet to acknowledge our presence was a model named Zakir. Once everybody (except Zakir) makes their initial greetings the audition officially starts. 

“Please tell us a bit about yourself Archana.” Raghav says pleasantly. 

“Sure sir. I am Archana Kesav. 35 years old…..”

As Archana starts speaking I notice Zakir finally stirring from his position for the first time since we came in. His eyes blink open curiously as he hears Archana’s pleasant chiming voice. I feel an uneasy feeling in my stomach as he pushes against his armrest to sit up straight and gaze at Archana with interest. I shake myself and look back at my wife. 

“……am a trained classical dancer. I teach dance at a small dance school in the village. My husband Kesav is a business owner who runs a small restaurant and my son Tanmay is studying in 3rd standard.”

“Wow, you are 35 and a mother of a kid that big? I would have guessed you to be only 28-30 years old max from your looks. And certainly never would have guessed you to be a mother as well. You are very beautiful and youthful for your age.” Raghav gushes.

“So true. You are a real-world Santoor mummy, Archana” Vamsi, the cameraman joins in grinning ear to ear.

Archana giggles shyly, looking very pleased at heaps of praises being laid upon her “Thank you so much, sir. ”  

“Now Archana, my assistant director Gopal who took your audition earlier forwarded me the video of your performance ahead of sending you here. I had a feeling he must have found a true gem based on how excited he was about showing your performance to me. And I was watching it with Vamsi here when you came in. And I must say, Gopal is right. You are good. Very good. ”  

Archana’s eyes filled with tears of happiness. “Thank you so much sir.” She says in a voice choked with emotion. “I never thought I stood a chance at this role being on the older side and married and all. And I am not even a native Telugu speaker.”  

I found myself tearing up a bit, seeing my wife getting recognized and complimented for her talent. 

“Younger candidates are given more preference in most circumstances. But here we are looking for a heroine to cast opposite veteran actor Balakrishna who is going to play the male lead in this movie. He is almost 60 years of age. So we are actually preferring to cast a more mature actress in this case so as to not look too weird next to him. And language is no barrier. Most mainstream telugu actresses aren’t native speakers either.” 

A chill goes down my spine upon learning this new information. There was probably no other hero in the entire Indian movie industry that had played with navels of as many actresses as Balakrishna has. Even actresses that have shied away from doing glamorous scenes their entire career have ended up getting their navel played by him onscreen while starring in his movies. I always thought it was a miracle how he is able to pull that off with even the shyest and most reserved of actresses. I was pretty positive that he demands such scenes in every movie he acts in. A Balakrishna movie directed by Raghavendra Rao is sure going to be a navel treat for the audience. 

Archana who was clueless about all these facts was of course looking quite pleased with the developments so far. 

“Now I must warn you about a few things before we proceed with the audition. This is going to be a hero-centric masala movie, Archana. There will be action, item songs and love scenes. The main purpose of the female lead will be to serve as the hero’s love interest and as eye candy for the audience. Therefore it goes without saying that the role is going to be quite glamorous in nature.” 

Archana goes pale hearing that. “Oh no. I can’t do glamorous roles sir”.

“Sure you can. You are in good shape. You can dance. And you have proven you can act as well. I am sure you will do great.” Raghav says earnestly, misunderstanding her inhibitions completely.

Archana shakes her head looking down, embarrassed and disappointed. “I am sorry sir. It’s not that. I come from a reserved and traditional family. I am also a wife and mother. It would be unbecoming of me to do such things at this point in life. It will adversely affect my life. Gopal sir didn’t tell me anything about the role being glamorous before sending me up here. If I had known this beforehand I wouldn’t have come. Anyways I don’t want to waste anymore of your time sir. I am really sorry, but I am afraid I am going to have to withdraw.”

I sigh in relief hearing her response though I pretty much expected it. She suddenly looks in my direction uncertainly as though she was seeking my reassurance and I nod at her letting her know she made the right call.

Raghav looks crestfallen by her response. “Are you sure Archana? Opportunities like this don’t come knocking at your door often. In fact this could very well be a once in a lifetime opportunity for you. “ 

“I am sure it is a great opportunity sir. But for me its not worth going through the backlash and criticism I may face from family and society.” 

Raghav sir nods understandably. “I understand where you are coming from. However, I am not so sure about it not being worth it. I am going to share some information that we don’t usually reveal during the audition phase. But I am making an exception in your case to give you a reason to reconsider your decision. You see Archana, if you were to work in this movie, you will be the second most paid person in the whole cast. When it comes to newcomers the usual pay for new heroines in our industry is 5 to 10 lakh range. But I can negotiate with the producer to increase it up to 40 lakhs if its worth it. And in this case, I certainly think it would be worth it.” 

40 lakhs? 40 freaking lakhs? My mind screams. He was willing to pay that much for Archana?  The things we could do with that kind of money. All my problems flash through my mind. My crumbling restaurant business that was in dire need of a renovation, our home which was running the risk of getting seized by the bank any day now due to defaulting on several months’ worth of loan payments and even our life in general which we were living with limited means. Looking at Archana’s face I could tell she was also thinking the same things. This was a golden chance that could potentially solve all our money problems in one fell sweep.

“Umm sir….Do you mind if I take a couple of minutes to talk it over with my husband?” she asks.

“Certainly Archana. But don’t take too long. We have other candidates waiting outside.”

She nods and comes straight toward me. “I think I should do it,” She says in a low voice as soon as she was near me. I was almost expecting this from her. She was the kind of person that would go to any length to help our family survive, even at the risk of tarnishing her image in society. But she still needed my strength and support to go through with it. However, this was an impossible decision for me to make. Was going through the turmoil of insecurity and jealousy of watching my wife performing intimate scenes with another guy worth the money? 

“If you think you can do it, then go ahead.  I am with you whatever decision you make. You will have my full support.” I finally say knowing very well that I am probably going to regret this for the rest of my life. Archana nods and gives me a quick hug, which I promptly return. I knew she needed it. 

Then she goes back to the front of the room and announces. “I have decided sir. I will give it a shot.”

For some reason, I instinctively looked toward Zakir right at that moment and to my surprise, he was looking right back at me with a snide grin playing upon his lips that makes my insides curl uncomfortably. I am definitely going to regret this.